#include <iostream>
#include <cstdlib>
#include <ctime>
using namespace std;
int main()
{
    srand((unsigned)time(0));
    int attack = rand() % (10 - 1 + 1) + 1;
    string name;
    int ans;
    
    cout << "Dick Cheney Cage Match Battle Royale - made by Adam Wisbrock\n";
    cout << "In the northeast corner, we have the challenger, um... what is your name?\n";
    cin >> name;
    cout << "We have the challenger " << name << "!\n";
    cin.get();
    cin.get();
    cout << "And in the southwest corner, we have the champion,\n";
    cout << "the Vice President, Richard Bruce Cheney!\n";
    cin.get();
    cout << "Let's get ready to rumble!\n";
    cout << "Dick Cheney launches his signature attack!\n";
    cin.get();
    if (attack == 1)
    {
               cout << "It's choking!\n";
               cout << "What do you do?\n";
               cout << "1. Poke him in the eyes!\n";
               cout << "2. Attempt to karate chop his arm off!\n";
               cin >> ans;
               if (ans == 1)
               {
                       cout << "The challenger " << name << " attempts to gouge his eyes out!\n";
                       cin.get();
                       cin.get();
                       cout << "However, his big ugly glasses deflected the strike. \n";
                       cout << "His chokehold knocks the challenger out,\n";
                       cout << "and Cheney is the winner!!!\n";
                       cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                       goto end;
               }
               else
               {
                       cout << "You attempt to karate chop his arm off.\n";
                       cin.get();
                       cin.get();
                       cout << "It's an orgy of violence! His arm is cut off due to your mastery of karate!\n";
                       cout << "The winner is " << name << "!\n";
                       goto end;
               }
    }
    else if (attack == 2)
    {
            cout << "It's stabbing!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Sidestep and kick him in the back!\n";
            cout << "2. Whip out a sword of your own!\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "The challenger " << name << " dodges the stab and kicks him in the back!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Cheney is down!\n";
                    cout << "And the winner is " << name << "!\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                    cout << "The challenger draws a sword to fight Cheney!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Unfortunately, Cheney's mastery of the sword defeats " << name << "!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 3)
    {
            cout << "It's karate!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Judo chop!\n";
            cout << "2. Roundhouse kick to the face!\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "" << name << " attempts a judo chop a la Austin Powers!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "The action fails, Cheney is too strong!\n";
                    cout << "He counters with a karate chop of his own, and " << name << " is down!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else 
            {
                 cout << "" << name << " delivers a roundhouse kick to the face!\n";
                 cout << "Chuck Norris would be proud!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "The action succeeds! Cheney is down!\n";
                 cout << "" << name << " is the winner!\n";
                 goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 4)
    {
            cout << "It's impalement!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Jump over him and stomp his head!\n";
            cout << "2. Just punch him in the face...\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "" << name << " jumps over the towering demon Cheney and stomps his ugly head!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "What's this? Cheney's head is too thick to be harmed?\n";
                    cout << "The big Dick impales " << name << "!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                    cout << "" << name << " just... punches him in the face. Boring.\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Yet effective! Cheney is down!\n";
                    cout << "You win!\n";
                    goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 5)
    {
            cout << "It's telekinesis!\n";
            cin.get();
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Expelliarmus!\n";
            cout << "2. Pikachu, Thundershock!\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "The challenger " << name << " casts Expelliarmus.\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "" << name << " is disqualified for being a nerd.\n";
                    cout << "Cheney wins by default!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                    cout << "Oh, my goodness! The challenger's Pikachu has entered the ring and\n";
                    cout << "unleashed its mighty Thundershock attack!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Cheney gets a taste of his own medicine! How's that for\n";
                    cout << "enhanced interrogation?\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Cheney is down!\n";
                    cout << "You win!\n";
                    goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 6)
    {
            cout << "He charges at " << name << " with his bare hands!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Break the wrist and walk away.\n";
            cout << "2. Cringe at the raw power of his bare hands.\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "Wow! " << name << " has broken Cheney's wrist and walked away!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "How humiliating! How flippin' sweet!\n";
                    cout << "The challenger " << name << " is the winner!\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                    cout << "In a shocking display of cowardice, " << name << " just cringes at\n";
                    cout << "the might of Dick Cheney's bare hands!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Cheney smashes the challenger!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 7)
    {
            cout << "It's a headbutt!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Claw at his bare skull!\n";
            cout << "2. Throw Constitutions at his head!\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "The challenger " << name << " is clawing at Cheney's\n";
                    cout << "ugly bare head!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "The slashing is to no avail, as Cheney's skull is thick and impervious.\n";
                    cout << "Cheney's headbutt smashes " << name << " into the ground!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                cout << "The challenger mercilessly throws Constitutions at Big Dick.\n";
                cin.get();
                cin.get();
                cout << "Dick can't handle that kind of supreme law! He's down!\n";
                cout << "You win!\n";
                goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 8)
    {
            cout << "He's insatiably raining blows down upon you!\n";
            cout << "What do you do?\n";
            cout << "1. Headlock + Noogie Combo!\n";
            cout << "2. Kick him in the balls!\n";
            cin >> ans;
            if (ans == 1)
            {
                    cout << "" << name << " grabs his arms away and puts him in a headlock!\n";
                    cout << "Oh my God! NOOGIE!!!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Dick is begging for mercy! " << name << " is the winner!\n";
                    goto end;
            }
            else
            {
                    cout << "The challenger " << name << " kicked Dick in the balls!\n";
                    cin.get();
                    cin.get();
                    cout << "Unfortunately, Dick Cheney has no balls!\n";
                    cout << "The challenger has succumbed to Dick Cheney's merciless barrage!\n";
                    cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                    goto end;
            }
    }
    else if (attack == 9)
    {
         cout << "God save us all, it's the GRIP OF DEATH!\n";
         cout << "Conventional methods cannot defeat this attack!\n";
         cin.get();
         cout << "What do you do?\n";
         cout << "1. Block his grip with your neck!\n";
         cout << "2. Just shoot him in the face...\n";
         cin >> ans;
         if (ans == 1)
         {
                 cout << "In a bold effort, " << name << " attempts to block Cheney's vicegrip\n";
                 cout << "using the neck!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "The attempt fails, and the challenger is knocked out!\n";
                 cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                 goto end;
         }
         else if (ans == 3)
         {
                 cout << "Wow! The challenger has found the Vice President's secret weakness!\n";
                 cout << "It's the number three!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "Cheney is down somehow! " << name << " is the winner!\n";
                 goto end;
         }
         else 
         {
                 cout << "The challenger draws a gun to shoot Cheney in the face.\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "But it's too late, the grip of death has consumed " << name << "!\n";
                 cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                 goto end;
         }
    }
    else
    {
         cout << "It's shooting! The challenger better watch out for\n";
         cout << "the Vice President's superior quail-hunting skills.\n";
         cin.get();
         cin.get();
         cout << "What do you do?\n";
         cout << "1. Draw a lightsaber and fight!\n";
         cout << "2. Shoot back at the coward!\n";
         cin >> ans;
         if (ans == 1)
         {
                 cout << "The challenger has drawn a lightsaber!\n";
                 cout << "This is no mere challenger, it's " << name << ", Jedi Master!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "What's this? Cheney puts on a black cloak and helmet.\n";
                 cout << "He's Darth Vader!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "It's an epic battle! Cheney attempts to use the force to choke " << name << ",\n";
                 cout << "but " << name << " hacks with the lightsaber to divert his concentration!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "Darth Vader throws his lightsaber at Master " << name << "!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "The challenger blocks the blade and slays Cheney!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "You win!\n";
                 goto end;
         }
         else
         {
                 cout << "The challenger draws a pistol to eliminate his foe once and for all!\n";
                 cin.get();
                 cin.get();
                 cout << "Oh, no! Dick is too handy with a shotgun! Must be from all that quail hunting!\n";
                 cout << "You lose. Better luck next time.\n";
                 goto end;
         }
    }
end:
    cin.get();
    cin.get();
    return 0;
}